The Feminine Mystique

I’m sitting in a train and I look beside me. What do I see? A family of five. The three kids are fighting, shouting, anything any normal kid their age would be doing, oblivious to what is going on in their parents’ minds. A second glance at the mother’s eyes is enough to understand that she isn't happy. What could it be? I’m in India. What choices are there? It’s the husband. A well-built man with a slightly handlebar-ish mustache (koduva meesai as some of you might know it) gives you the impression of a strict man of the house. His stern expression was only emphasizing the fact. Clearly, she is not happy with him. He only sees her as a sex slave of sorts, making him food, washing dishes, taking care of kids and sleeping with him in the night. He fails to understand that she is more than just that.

This is not a very uncommon sight. Indian women worship their husbands. They are their god in their eyes, and what they do is right, be it good or bad. They are expected to appreciate what they do and go along with it. Movies are no help either. They brag about all the societal changes and awareness they bring about, but forget to change the oldest and most basic stereotype – male dominance, female submission. I’m not talking about BDSM, but the way a couple lives in the modern (is it?) Indian society. Tamil cinema, at least, has been portraying women as very outgoing and brave girls until the day before the marriage. Once they tie the knot, it’s like the character sketch is changed. Everything about them, from what they wear to how they behave, changes. What kind of a stupid stereotype is this?

IT'S EITHER BOTH OR NONE: When HE can, why can't a SHE?

To be honest, I think it’s in the blood. Indians have subjected women to male dominance and chauvinism since the age of time itself. They don’t stand up for their rights, and we are happy with that. I’m not saying I’m the golden child born to resuscitate women from what they’re in. I’m trying to make a point that it’s in the hands of women and women alone in bringing themselves up in the society.

Not that they aren't already on top, I mean, the president was a woman! That, though, is not enough. The idea that women are to be subdued has been planted in the deepest part of our minds, and to pull it out is a herculean task. I try to do that. Yet, involuntarily, I do utter chauvinistic stuff. The other day, “feminine” came out from my mouth as “negative”. I felt really bad for that, and I still do. I try to correct myself, and I believe it’s only those dumb moments that have to be corrected.

We all watch American sitcoms. Be it Friends, How I Met Your Mother or The Big Bang Theory or whatever else you watch, women are always treated as equal. They make sex jokes too and we laugh. They have multiple boyfriends, sleep with all of them and it’s still a joke. But when a girl we know says some joke or has many boyfriends, she’s a... well, you know what they call them. Hypocrites will be hypocrites.

Men may say a hundred things about changing India; easier said than done. Anybody reading this would ask me – ‘Are you gonna do something about it?’ No. Frankly, I have no idea what to do, or how to do it. But if someone with some idea needs my help, I’m all yours. There aren't many things I would rather like to see changed in India than this – women treated as equals. Yes, women are given many amenities and quotas. That doesn't change the fact that men are superior in the current scenario.

It’s about time women are respected and treated the same way a man is treated. Love them for who they are. Recruit them for their brains. Pay them what they deserve. Watch the nation rise above the rest.